I have done nothing good today.
It is grey outside.
I am in a grey mood.
I have not finished packing.
I have had a bath.
I have eaten Pret food.
I have not emailed.
I have watched the Wright Stuff.
I have not bought shampoo.
I have brushed my teeth.
I have not left the house.
I have put a plaster on my toe.
I have not baked.
I have bought a rail ticket.
I have not planned.
I have not.
I'll still not posting properly.
But I really want to.
I have been too busy, too tired, too far from a PC, and too abroad to post for a long time.
I have many, many half post ideas in my head struggling to come out.
On Saturday night our car broke down in a carpark near Gatwick airport and we had to call out the rescue men. We got home at 5am. I was at work at 9, then church and wasn't home til 10pm. As a lay in bed at midnight, knowing I had work in 8 hours I really wanted to post but I was too physically tired to get from bed to PC. And PC was off, another barrier. It's harder to post when the "set-up laptop" is no longer a feature of my room and I have to venture into the rest of the building to find a broadband connection and keyboard combo. But there were so many possible posts in my head that I couldn't sleep.
As I laying there thinking them through, I suddenly wanted to the blog about the fact that I couldn't blog because I needed sleep, but couldn't sleep because I needed to blog.
And then I REALLY wanted to blog about the fact that I wanted to blog about that.
So here I am.
But it seems none of the other topics have blossomed enough to distinguish them from the rest of them, and therefore, for the time being, remain brain bound.
On Tuesday I bought some shoes. They are flat. I wore them for 10 minutes and they made me feet bleed. My feet hurt more than with any other pair of shoes I have ever worn. (Excluding a pair of 4-inch gold stillettoes, but I did wear them and dance in them for 5 hours) Yesterday I tired taking them back despite the fact that I had clearly worn them, argued with the shop assistant "They must be faulty, you shouldn't sell such poor quality shoes, I didn't expect this from a market leader, if I had known I wouldn't have bought them, etc". I failed. Today Ben heard the staff in that shop bitching about me and I am stuck with a pair of shoes that I can't wear.
Yesterday I saw a man drop his McDonalds burger on the floor just as his friend took a step. The friend unfortunately stepped straight into the burger-casualty leaving a meaty cheesy mess lying mid-pavement on Bootham. Were my stomach weaker, the side would have been vomit-inducing.
This is what the world offers.
Cheap shoes that hurt.
Cheap food that makes you vomit.
Both of which damaged something else in the process.
People that bitch about you when you can't accept this.
Despite this realisation, I have been to that shop three days in a row now and bought chips in McD's 3 hours ago.
It clearly made a big impression on me.
It's hard to walk away from.
While I was in Russia I wrote down loads of song lyrics to save for blog titles. I've lost the piece of paper.
I got my library card and bus card out of my suitcase and put them somewhere. I'm pretty sure that somewhere should be either the desk next to this computer or on my bed. The somewhere is not there.
And why hasn't PostSecret been updated? I hope Frank's OK.
So I'm back.
I have realised I made a typing error while typing in Russian. I am now far away from the nearest known Cyrillic keyboard. Correction, therefore, will have to wait. Unless I give copy and paste a go, using a random Russian website. We'll see.
I have decided to compile my thoughts for a post about Kazan', but for now I'll break my literary mold and give you some artistic distraction while I walk to the cash point and survey what damage 3 feet of flood water causes to a market town.
