stop! tell me where you're going

я в россии. сейчас я в кафе, на улице холодо так я не пошла в плаж.

That's enough of that.

At some point on Friday last week, I developed a cold. This may or may not have had something to do with the fact that I swam in the Volga. Twice. And have done three more times this week. My хозяйка of course thinks it is because I do not wear slippers in the house. Here is her advice :
"You must go to the market and buy slippers! They are not expensive. And then you will not be ill"

"Why aren't you going out this evening? Why are you sitting at home? Only old women sit at home all the time!"

"If you study, you will be like Marie Curie."

"Why don't you know what job you want to have? I went to teacher-school, I became a teacher. Or you go to med-school, and become a doctor. Do you have no goal? Maybe you will just be a wife and have children! Ha!"

"Are you talking on the phone? Oh, well, I am doing a crossword. Do you have crosswords in England? Help me. Which football club does Roman Abramovich own? Who is this rapper? What's the second name of the American actress called Goldie?"

"Are you talking on the phone? Look at my matrioshkas! I have many. Are you going to buy them for your parents? Why not? Why don't they want a matrioshka? I didn't want chocolates and you gave me chocolates!"

"I had an Indian-English student. She was called Sita. This is a сита *holds a sieve*. So I said, 'Oh look, your sister is here! Сита! Сгта!"

I've only got a week left. I'll be sort of sad to leave. I'm beginning to think I could actually like my хозяйка if only I could understand her. Linguisticly and otherwise.