react like it's 1805

Apparently I've been suffering from Rubbishious Lackofpostingitis over the past 2 weeks, but hopefully, I'm now over the worst of it.

On Saturday morning I was in Somerfield in Pocklington (the one that used to be Safeway) buying charcoal to fuel my party that evening when I saw two things that wouldn't be interesting if I told you them in "real life", so you get to hear about them here.

1. Signs joyfully proclaiming that that Somerfield is closing. Excellent. Fantastic. I hate Somerfield, and even more than I hate Somerfield and its ridiculous "Somerthing Different" advertising campaign I hate the fact in Pocklington we have two. And that they're both small and crap. Apparently, we're getting a Waitrose (just for James!). I'm actually excited by that prospect.
2. A man with his 8/9-year-old daughter in tow. He was wearing a t shirt that said "Heaven" at the top with a 3 toilet-sign style figures underneath, a lady, a gentleman, and another lady. It was a "Threesomes are ace!" t-shirt. He's a dad. He shouldn't own that t shirt. He definitely shouldn't wear while with his daughter out in public. What does he tell her when she asks what it means? Does he say "You'll know when you're older", thus forming a strong memory of unquenched curiosity, causing her to long for the day when she finally uncovers the mystery of the t shirt? She may not understand now, but in actually a shockingly few number of years she will. And she will be ashamed to call him Dad.

On an unrelated topic, today I read yesterday's Sunday Times Magazine which contained a special "Ah ha! It's the start of term, let's do a 3-part special on being a student" insert. Along with handy tips about what to take (a doorstop and duvet that isn't univeristy owned, old, and smelly), the odd cheap but clever recipe, and an article about how you have to become an "independent learner" at university, there was a list of 7 things you will have done during Fresher's week. Number 7 on this list was along the lines of "Spent hours with your new Southern/Northern friends debating the correct way to pronounce "bath" and, if you're a southerner "oop north" discovering that the shops now all close early......." I suppose I'm technically a northerner, and wow. I did not know that. To check I asked my mum - she's from Reading - if shops really do stay open longer south of the Midlands. And yes. Apparently there is a north/south divide, and below it the shops are open other times apart from when the entire world is busy at work and their money is not avaliable for spending in retail. Perhaps S is for South is for Sensible while N is for North and for Not.